I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
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