How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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