Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
