my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
