Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
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Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
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I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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