the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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