well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
