Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
