in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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