That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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