Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize