Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
