Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
