An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
