ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
