2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
