You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
