He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
