I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
