too bad you live with your parents still
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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