This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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