I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
