I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
