I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
