I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
