i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
NoShamevember. You game?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
