I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
