Do vagina's smell?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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