she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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