bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Be still, my beating vagina.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
