He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
