tell your sister to shave her snatch
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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