Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
