Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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