I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
