well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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