i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
it's great music for shaving your balls
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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