You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize