I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
