Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
