I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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