ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
