i may or may not be watching the land before time
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
