erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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