Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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