Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
