NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
