I feel like I'm in dance class right now
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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