i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
