like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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