She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
