But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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