I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
