fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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