i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
