I'm eating all of the evidence.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
