Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize