So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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