I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
