Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I could make wine with my vomit
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
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do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
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we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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