Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
