I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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