I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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