Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize