I got chris browned last night
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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