I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
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I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
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Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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